_The Hostel of Aldcamus._

FRIARS _sitting drinking_, AUBERY, _&c._

FIRST FRIAR.

Come, drink and make merry, my masters! it is not every gale that wafts us a young friar with a purse, and a soldier with a song.

SECOND FRIAR.

Why dost thou not sing, thou comely anchorite, with the cowl nailed to your head? Surely thou mayest doff it out of courtesy to our order?

YOUNG FRIAR.

Beshrew me, friend! it is not from want of reverence to those to whom reverence is due, that makes me wear the cowl; but I have a disagreeable ache in my head from an accidental sore; I shall, however, sing as well as I can to please my kind brethren. [_Sings._

Weep not, because the patriot’s sword Awhile is sheath’d in sadness; That sword will from its scabbard leap To trumpet notes of gladness, When he who forges freemen’s chains, This earth no more shall cumber, When blood that sleeps in freemen’s veins Shall wake no more to slumber.

It is but the fragment of a song; but you must take the will for the deed.

FIRST FRIAR.

Well sung, young one! but very mournful. Come, soldier! free of speech, give us a song, and let it speak to the occasion. I can give a joke, and take a joke in good fellowship. Let the song be trite and terse with a little of the nutmeg.

SECOND FRIAR.

No! no! let the song be modest. True humour looks best in a natural dress. Strike up, my boon companion!

AUBERY.

I can’t sing, but I will give you a rant, while my friend seeks relief in a short repose. Gudewife, see to the lady—to the friar I mean. [_Sings._

=Song.=

TUNE,—Kenmuir’s on, and awa, Willie.

CHORUS.

_I redd you beware o’ Friar Adam, gudeman; I redd you beware o’ Friar Adam, gudeman; He’s first at a feast, but he’s last at the cann— I redd you beware o’ Friar Adam, gudeman._

The gudewife can bake, and the gudewife can brew, Can dress up her board with the famed barbecue; Can eke out a table where bishops may dine, And baffle the drawer wi’ hamen-made wine.

The gudewife on Sundays is bonny I trow, Her golden-laced bonnet sits light on her brow; In her fine furred cloak at the preachings she’s seen, And looks like Diana in mantle o’ green.

Friar Adam is learned in Latin and Greek, With his eyes and his fingers he also can speak; ’Tis whisper’d, the priest has a magical e’e, And kens the black art that’s taught over the sea.

Mine host and the baxter grew bright o’er the cann, Till they first miss’d the gudewife, then Friar Adam; The quegh being empty, for liquor they bawl, But nothing but echo replies to their call.

They sought for our Friar by the windings of Tweed, Where they found him laid low like a wind-shaken reed; They found him, O beastly! asleep, sitting squat, Enjoying the dream of a Cardinal’s hat.

They search’d for the gudewife by thicket and loan, Till they found the gay lady a-making her moan; While milking her quey, popp’d a wasp on its tail, When the brute gave a kick, and upset the milk-pail.

FIRST FRIAR.

Ha! ha! ha! well sung, and passing humorous.— Hark! who craves admittance? [_Noise without._

FIRST TROOPER.

Hollo! ho! open the door.

SECOND FRIAR.

First say who wishes to be admitted.

SECOND TROOPER.

Open the door, in the king’s name, else we fulfil our warrant to the very letter, and enter thus. [_Pushes up the door._

FIRST FRIAR.

Friend, your manners need polishing.

FIRST TROOPER.

If thou say’st so, by the powers! I will polish your face, you ugly crature, by levelling the huge bridge of thy nasal organ, which glitters with rubies.

FIRST FRIAR.

I crave pardon, my brave man of speech! I meant no offence.

SECOND TROOPER, (_taking up a glass_.)

Here’s to my native land and her pretty daughters! What say ye to that, you black sheep?

FIRST TROOPER, (_to the Gudewife_.)

Where’s the host?

GUDEWIFE OF ALDCAMUS.

In Heaven as I hope; but I am his substitute.

SECOND TROOPER.

And a goodly one truly; we must search you.

GUDEWIFE OF ALDCAMUS.

Heaven forfend!—I hope you mean no evil towards me, as these holy men shall witness.

FIRST TROOPER.

No! no! we shall not so much as harm the mole upon your chin, plump one!—But you know, that in these times many a pretty face and wicked heart is hid under the shadow of the monkish cowl, and a pair of handsome limbs under the clumsy buskin: Now, by the powers! to the search. Here, ould fellow! (_Examines the first_ FRIAR.) Thou art too ugly to mess with any one but the devil;—here, boy, (_Examines the other._) and thou art his brother.

SECOND TROOPER.

A pack of filthy knaves! and why should we dirty our fingers with them. Ha! whom have we got here?

AUBERY.

One with whom thou hast no concern, and whom thou hadst best let alone.

FIRST TROOPER.

In the king’s name resist not, but deliver up your sword.

AUBERY.

To what king? Not till its strength be tried, which is of good Damascus steel.

[_While they fight, the_ LIEUTENANT, _with others of the party, enter, and seize_ AUBERY _behind_.

Against such odds it were folly in me to combat. (_Aside._) I bide my time.

SECOND TROOPER.

Whom have we in the chamber? Ha! another friar!

[LADY SETON, (_in the disguise of the young Friar_,) _alarmed, comes forth: the Cowl off, and her long flowing locks dishevelled_.

LADY SETON.

Not a Friar! but an unfortunate lady, who has lost her all at Berwick.

LIEUTENANT.

I presume, madam, you are the lady we are in search of.—If so, you had better announce yourself, that you may be treated as an honourable prisoner.

LADY SETON.

What, sir, are you a soldier, and don’t know that all women should be treated with equal courtesy by brave men? We are all branches of the same great tree, and all one in the eye of God.

LIEUTENANT.

Doubtless, fair lady! but we came not here to preach; our business is too short and summary for detail,—your name, sweet lady?

LADY SETON.

It is a name which has often made the English tremble—_Seton!_

LIEUTENANT.

For once it shall not, fair lady! In the name of King Edward, ye are our prisoner.

LADY SETON.

I accompany you through necessity; but, by the courtesy of your nation, who, though blunt, are brave; forward, yet civil; I entreat you to unbind my servant: you have already disarmed him.

LIEUTENANT.

In this, lady, you cannot be obeyed. We must proceed quickly; for the way is long, and the paths of Pease intricate.

LADY SETON.

Then I do make a virtue of necessity, and bear my burden rejoicing; farewell, good woman, and holy men.

LIEUTENANT.

To the door, soldiers, and bind the prisoner.

[_Exit_ TROOPERS _with_ AUBERY.

GUDEWIFE OF ALDCAMUS.

Fareweel, gude lady! and gif ye cum this way again, an’ it no be far out o’ your way, just spier for the Gudewife o’ Aldcamus, and it will be an especial favour to your humble well-wisher, keeping warldly concerns in the way of business out o’ the question.

LADY SETON.

Thank ye, old lady, for your hospitality; and if, in happier times, you ever come to the palace of Seton, on the high road to Edinburgh, ask for Christian Cheyne, and ye shall be rewarded. [_Exeunt._